Humanity

Yeah, I’m kind of a sucker for the click-bait on this one. But I think it’s for the best. I won’t even get into the “article” to which it took me, but rather, I’ll make my observations on the concepts captured within.

Mainly: That young couples today are more vocal in trumpeting the advantages they’re experiencing by being DINKs (Double-Income, No Kids). The expensive vacations. The freedom to go anywhere and do anything. None of the hassles that come with actually having to care for little human beings.

Of course, this is all hogwash.

I don’t mean to belittle anyone who makes the choice (and I truly feel for those who would love to have children, but can’t). I’m just saying that, for those young, married couples who have copped some kind of attitude about it, claiming the superiority of their choice to keep their family between the two of them, they’re wrong. Sadly, though, I can’t really convey the reasoning beyond saying, “Come back and talk to me when you’re 60.”

I can talk to it, though, in this: for the majority of my 37-year marriage, we’ve been single-income. We (as a family unit) have worked hard (together) to raise two incredible children; and, as of yesterday morning, get to celebrate that family growing by 8 pounds, 9 ounces in the form of a second grandson. I want to be careful here not to even imply that our children (and grandchildren) are the purpose of our existence. I mean only to say that it’s part of a total package: the ups and downs of life. The experiences. The perspective for sure.

Of course, one can sit in a deck chair on a Caribbean Cruise ship and make some memories. The same memories of thousands of others. And then maybe even the same memories you had from last year’s cruise. And the year before that…

Being the parents of two (or more…or any), you never know what you were gonna get day-to-day. [If you’re smart], you learn. You see the world through different eyes. And the pressure’s on, even if you don’t know it. Even if you think it’s only doing what’s coming naturally…which, it kind of is. A lot of instinct going on here. A lot of tip-toeing around, making sure you do your best by this kid — these kids. You might start out thinking you could just break them somewhere along the line, but, after a while, you get it.

And in that all, you grow. And quite often you don’t remember the crap that comes with it; starting with diapers and late-night (all-night) sessions, and moving up to the prom and your kid stressing out over a dress or whatever (no, my daughter did not stress out over a dress — it just seemed like a thing to say here).

But even these things matter, because maybe you’re finally seeing them from the other end and thinking, “Wow, did my parents have to go through this?” (In my case, the answer, of course, was “no.” I was the perfect child).

Part of the headline was the backlash these DINKs received, so I don’t really want to pile on. I just want to get there with showing people how great it is to be a parent; and if you can do it, jump at the chance. Jump at the chance to actually be a family — a small group that, if done even fairly decently, will bring a tremendous amount of joy while in some way contributing to the joy and meaningfulness of those around them. In short: grow up — you have to — and learn to care about something far more important than you.