The Wisdom of a Cranky Old Man

It was a good day. But not all of it. I’m an early riser. I usually attend the early service at church (unless weather has me missing Saturday’s ride and then I’ll go on Sunday and attend the five o’clock). Then I get home, roust the wife, and get out there for maybe a bit of brunch (we’ve pretty much settled on Queenstown as the go-to place), and maybe a trip to e-Mart Traders before the rush arrives in the early afternoon.

But Micha wasn’t feeling up for brunch this morning. And she wasn’t doing well getting off for the ET trip either, so I was a bit annoyed with her by the time we got out well after noon.  So annoyed that I just said “let’s go to O-ch’ang and eat.”

O-ch’ang is the location of one of our favorite restaurants, a Korean beef place that’s run by a co-op in the country northwest of the town. (which is about a 45-minute drive from where we live). We happened upon it as we were wandering around years back and have been going ever since.

Today it had its typical Sunday crowd – full, but we didn’t have to wait. As usual, once we get in and seated, Micha heads to the adjacent butcher shop to pick up the meat while I settle into the table and get it set. She came back today with some excellent cuts, and we had a very good meal that put us both in a much better mood. The mood was good enough that I didn’t even mind stopping just a few kilometers down the road so she could spend a half hour picking up acorns. Or driving into a new housing development and checking out vacant lots.

So it’s as I wait in the car through these stops that I get to pondering, and today’s topic wandered to the insecurity of an old man. And it hit me today that – especially from a man who served 27 years in the military – as we age, the security we had in our youth fades. Quite slowly at first, but then quite suddenly, even to the point of a shaken confidence.

I’ve seen plenty of men as they age being forced out the door at jobs they’d done for years. This is never a thought in the early days of a military career. Once you’re in, as long as you stay out of trouble, you’re good for as long as you want, even up to your high year of tenure (the longest you can serve for your particular rank). When I was a Senior Master Sergeant, I believe that was 28 years (I did just short of 27). And even then, you’re fresh enough out of the military that you’re marketable.

Then maybe you get into a job and get settled in, and if you’re good enough, you can stick around. But it isn’t the same. Your company might give you opportunities, but they’ve got a contract to fulfill. They can’t be sending you off to a month’s worth of school. You’re often on your own if you want to keep up. And there’ll be none of this “time off” for every little thing any more. Your boss isn’t going to let you out to take your kid to the doctor – you’ve gotta take vacation for that.

And then maybe you’ve been in the job 5 or 6 years and suddenly the boss says “Hey, we’ve decided to go in another direction.” After all, some young 25-year-old kid straight out of the Army is gonna be cheaper than you at 50. Or maybe you get caught up by some odd federal employment rule and the boss figures it’s easier just to let you go than do have to deal with the paperwork.

Let’s just put it simply – as you get older, sometimes the window of your usefulness narrows. You bring experience, but you also bring a price. New things come along and you’ve got to keep up. Other things creep in, and you’ve really got to look out for yourself. And maybe it gets a little tiring.

So where do we get the cranky old man? This probably has a lot to do with it. Life is cumulative. Sometimes you have to have a pretty short memory or it’s just gonna pile up on you.

But that’s not the end of it. I think there are trade-offs. With age comes wisdom and experience, and maybe the ability to navigate the life that comes with it. Perhaps a bit of resiliency when you understand perspective. “Hey, we’ve been here before, and we thought we weren’t ready for it then, but we made it.”

Maybe you learn to look at people differently and appreciate them more. You can enjoy learning about them and finding their lives interesting. And maybe you wonder how you can pour a little bit of yourself into them (if they’re willing).

Despite being limited in the things to which I’m exposed, I’m even still learning that there are so many kinds of people around going through so many kinds of experiences, and it really never gets old. Life kind of turns over and you’ve got to play to your strengths. The point is to make it work and make it last.

In the Bible, Paul talks about running the race to the end. Staying faithful. Looking forward to the glory that comes at the end of this life on earth. But like the saying goes, “you never step into the same river twice,” and the trip you take today will never be the one you’ll take tomorrow.