Sabotage/Home

Here’s one from the playlist.

I love Kings Kaleidescope’s music. A lot of it is great for riding, and the lyrics are especially good. Every time I hear this song it reminds me of me — my near-daily struggles, knowing what’s good for me but souring on the idea of actually living that way.

I’m not talking about a checklist-wish here — not some kind of “if I only do x, y, and z, I’m good to go.” I know I already am good to go. I’m just talking about putting myself in the position to actually appreciate where I am and what God’s done for me. Getting out there again and doing some of what he’s made me for instead of sabotaging myself every day along the way.

If this is living
Then I am finally finding out
Life’s misleading
If this is freedom
Then I’m not sure if I want it now
I have reached the ceiling

If this is success
Well then I should have expected less
I could keep on dreaming
Cuz if I’m honest
I am beginning to have my doubts
What do I believe in?

I can’t escape this sabotage
Taking what I want
But slowly I’m discovering
Exactly what is wrong
I pour myself out for myself
Such a selfish fool
When all I want is you
When all I want is you

This isn’t living
I’m so defeated and uninspired
Life’s deceiving
This isn’t freedom
I never stop always running tired
I just keep on reaching

This isn’t success
I’m just a jumble of work and stress
And I’m always reeling
And if I’m honest
I am beginning to have my doubts
Who do I believe in?

Now, As I cross this parted sea
All I had is behind me
With my home now far from view
This is home right here with you

You have sabotaged this sea
Now you’re walking here with me
This is home right here with you
I am home right here with you

Wade in the water
Wade in the water children

Life is an restless maze
You are my hiding place
Life is an reckless haze
You are my endless grace