I know some people who see God in just about everything they encounter, and I see others who see him not at all (and yet claim to believe in him to some degree). There are certainly all kinds. I myself try not to be “spiritually superstitious,” and this is sometimes to my detriment. The fact is, God truly is involved in everything I encounter. It’s just that the detritus of life often gets me looking at the wrong things.
And yet I’ve got the evidence. And although some would pooh-pooh that statement, things have unfolded in far too great a detail for me to see it any other way – and especially since I claim God is alive and active in the world. Yet, I can still easily acknowledge that he won’t always (or even frequently) do it the way I want it.
I’m reminded by an example I see quite often: I work in a language learning environment, and part of my job is to give an orientation to students whenever new classes start. One of the items on which I speak is the dynamic of the language classroom. I’ve been around language learners enough to know that their (sometimes wildly) varying styles of classroom learning can be a challenge for both the learner and the teacher. The point I really have to drive home for them though is that the teachers have trained for years in how to run a classroom while adjusting for these styles. They know best how to teach in a way that best suits all of the students and not just one or two.
Now, let’s scale that up in a way so immense that my analogy cannot help but fall short. The fact is, we can’t be so self-centered as to believe God is going to do it all my way, all day, every day (“and twice on Sunday,” as Voddie Bauchum would say). We have to understand the non-contradictory nature of God in this. He’s running a universe that is occupied by nearly 8 billion image-bearers (that we know of), and the chances that he can accommodate the whims of every single one – especially in light of their lack of self-knowledge (let alone the understanding of the needs of others) – are zero. At least in as far as our pitifully infinitesimal understanding of how it all works together can stretch.
However, there are times when the evidence is just too clear to ignore. Like the time I woke up one morning, having not gone to church for years – being in a new place for several months and not even looking – and praying specifically this prayer: “God, I’m wandering here. I’m struggling. I have to get back into fellowship with others and come back to you in worship with them.” Then, going to work that very day and having someone walking up to me and saying, “Hey, you want to go to church with me this weekend?” (if you really understood how far I’d drifted, you’d see even more how this wasn’t some kind of coincidence).
And I have more of these examples – not the slam-dunk, miracle-a-day kind (other than my continued existence itself) – but plenty that are both subtle and not-so-subtle.
The point here though is the remembering. Because I tell you, there are times I feel like I’m absolutely floundering, in over my head and struggling to get by. I’m not telling anyone anything they don’t already know themselves. The person who thinks they live a charmed life where everything goes right does not exist (despite what you see them posting on Facebook). And yet, I have a bit of an edge. Because I know him in whom I have my hope, and it certainly isn’t me. Or luck. Or chance. Or other people. My hope is in a God who promises, even when I don’t see it. Even when I’m not acknowledging it in thankfulness and prayer. He promise to hold onto me through the tough stuff. Not just in the good times. No, not at all. But in the times when I need him the most, but quite often can’t see him the clearest.
And so…this morning. After a fitful night of sleep (I honestly think the dreams were because of my dinner), I “wake up” exhausted and a bit down. And I throw out a half-hearted prayer and move on. But then read these words in Psalm 73 at the breakfast table:
21 When my soul was embittered,
when I was pricked in heart,
22 I was brutish and ignorant;
I was like a beast toward you.23 Nevertheless, I am continually with you;
Psalm 73: 21-26
you hold my right hand.
24 You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will receive me to glory.
25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
And I’m uplifted (but still tired).
Then, as I go on line to look something up, Biblegateway.com’s verse of the day tells me:
Out of my distress I called on the Lord; the Lord answered me and set me free. The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me?
Psalm 118:5-6
And again — as I listen to music while I work, this song comes along to remind me even more (and I absolutely recommend it (again – I’ve done it before)):
So yeah – I’m not trying to be spiritually superstitious here or anything, but I’m certainly of the mind that even in the hardest of times, I’ll make it. My hope is in someone who can deliver, even if it’s not what I ordered.