I talked to my mother this Christmas Day (in the States — it was already back to work for me here in Korea). Apparently, no snow. Well, I guess it’s not always what we’ve been told it should be.
It reminds me of an online post I saw recently, asking, “How much would you pay to go back to your childhood and experience the way Christmas used to be, one last time?” I don’t know. I have mixed feelings. Because I’m old enough to know that childhood Christmas memories are more bolstered by the hard work and sacrifices of parents who want their children to live an idyllic life than they are a reflection of reality. To go back and relive those childhood experiences – any childhood experiences – would have to come with a complete ignorance of what would lie ahead. It’s not that I’ve had a horrible life. It’s just that like most people, I’ve had enough of it to know it isn’t all sugar plums and faeries. You just can’t relive a childhood knowing that.
Still, as adults, we try. Really, really hard, actually. There’s a coffee shop not far from here that I’m hearing much of this year, and I must say, the pictures I’ve seen are incredible. It’s a real Christmas fantasy land. And every person I’ve heard who’s gone there has told me of how beautiful it is…while at the same time telling me about the lines, the parking, and the competition for a seat (let alone finding enough room for friends to share the experience). It’s almost as if the whole thing is just eye candy – people spending hours of their time just to get the perfect shot: a beautiful holiday picture capturing a Christmas “memory” that in reality, isn’t much more than a manufactured “experience.”
I really think our biggest problem is that we look back with nostalgia but don’t recognize that what was really going on wasn’t as good as we remember. And even the best of times were temporal (as were the worst). I have absolutely wonderful Christmas memories from my childhood. But as an adult, I also have no illusions as to what happened the rest of the year, and even though my memories are still wonderful, as a grownup I know there are always plenty of challenges happening behind the scenes – for some families more than others. A good parent should protect their children from the world in that respect. But they also have the responsibility to prepare them for life.
“I’m dreaming of a White Christmas, just like the ones I used to know.” Yeah. Growing up kind of changes the perspective. Even back when Bing sang that song, he knew the difference between childhood dreams and reality, and wouldn’t we all rather have the dreams?
And thank you to my parents — who made so many wonderful Christmases for me to remember.
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