I grew up in a big family…by today’s standards. Six kids. It still tickles me to think that hey, I’ve got five brothers and sisters, and not a bad one in the bunch. While the odds might not always work that way for every bigger family, I still think it’s worth the “risk.”
We’ve all seen the slowdown though. Entire nations are worrying over their birth rates (Korea being the the one most concerned). Although I know of a few families with 4 or 5 kids (not a single one of them Korean), that’s certainly not the norm anymore. I’ve even heard a few stories of people confronting those with large families. “Are you crazy? How can you have so many kids?” Must be that “expectations” thing I was talking about just the other day. People just expect to have fewer kids nowadays, but I think the expectations aren’t just about not being up to it. It seems that people want to live more self-centered lives — taking that cruise, buying that second or third (expensive) car, living their “best life” now. It reminds me of something I heard Pastor Voddie Baucham say — “We used to talk about how many children we could have. Now we talk about how many children we can afford.”
And in today’s “economy,” having one is pushing it. Two’s the limit. Anything more and you may as well punch your ticket to the poor house. No extra car for you. Might even have to vacation closer to home. A cruise is absolutely out.
But while children aren’t “free,” they’re valuable beyond a price. They make you human in a different way. They grow you up because you have no choice. You’re suddenly faced with the incredible responsibility of raising and nurturing this small human being, each one the most valuable thing in the known universe. It changes you, even if you’re not realizing or even feeling it in the moment. They become a challenge and a pain and a joy, but they grow you too.
I’m writing this from the other side of having had two such small human beings under my care at one time (a responsibility I shared with my wife, unequally of course, but each of us doing our own part) and wishing now (along with my wife) that we could have had more. Now that we’re far removed from raising our own children to the point of seeing them raise our grandchildren, it really is no wonder that we would want to have given the world more like them, but for selfish reasons too: our children are more and more a joy to us, and their children even more so.
Now, I know the world isn’t all rosy. There are families that are hurting and broken. There are others who can’t have children. Some have been abused and can’t imagine how bringing children into the world could be a good thing. I get that, and of course I feel for them all, but statistically these numbers are dwarfed by the number of those who could give the world so much more by having children. They’re missing out…but so are we all.
Bonus: I was reflecting on this just a couple of days ago — how much my children and grandchildren mean to me, even more as I get older — and a person whom I love and admire came to mind. For as long as I’ve known her, she had the “I’m not having children” vibe, but I always thought she was a wonderful person who would have so much to offer a child (and the rest of the world through her children). The very next day I found out that she’s excited to be pregnant with a baby girl.
This makes me quite happy in so many ways…
