A group of our church’s men are doing a run-through of the Westminster Shorter Catechism (WSC) on our early Sunday mornings. I’ve long appreciated catechisms for their clear, methodical approach to theology — it’s easy to just get going and follow along. I’ve written about them in the past, and I will always recommend them for the basics. Now, to be clear – they are not the Bible. There are many catechisms put out by many churches, and some of them don’t agree in their entireties, so you need to be discerning. But that’s sometimes part of the practice. “Be like the Bereans” — don’t swallow every single thing you’re told, but rather, check it against the scriptures to see if it’s true. Context is important.
I like those Sunday mornings. I read the Bible every day, but I appreciate perspectives that help me see things in ways I may not have noticed without the help of my brothers. As the Bible tells me in Proverbs 27:17, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” We need each other to do that for each other. It’s in the one of us having questions, or even being wrong about something, that leads us all to grow by searching for the answers and humbly accepting the instruction and correction that comes out of it.
During our last session, we talked through the fifth commandment (the fourth for my Catholic brothers and sisters) — “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.”
Now, one of the things the WSC does for me is it expands my way of looking at the commandments (although we all have to be very careful about going too far afield in our “expansions”). In this case, it got me looking in directions other than one would think. This is what the WSC was saying (paraphrased) about it: The fifth commandment is not just about honoring your parents. It’s about honoring others in general. Rulers, masters, servants, wives, husbands, children. The proofs for this perspective were all there, although none of them came right out and said, “Here’s where the Bible says the fifth commandment is about more than just honoring your parents.”
But absent that, we can still look at it as a bigger biblical lesson. We can do that by looking at a couple of other commandments – the sixth and seventh – and what Jesus had to say about them. Here’s his take on the sixth:
“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire.”
Of the seventh, he says, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
What Jesus is getting at here is that the seed of the greater sin often comes in the form of a kernel that we think innocent. Sure, not every moment of hatred ends in murder; and not every lustful look gets you in the sack with a woman. But every case of murder and adultery starts in one’s heart with the smaller act. You don’t just suddenly fall into bed with your coworker by accident. You start with, “Hey, she’s kind of cute,” then move on to “let’s get some coffee.” The next thing you know, it’s “My wife just doesn’t get me like you do.”
You see where this is going.
So now, back to the fifth commandment.
Honoring others really does start in the home. This is the place where the child first learns where he or she fits into the world. They may have dreams of reaching the pinnacle later in life, but it’s in the home where they learn that there are people to be honored, obeyed, and listened to. It’s also in the home that they should feel cared for and protected by those they honor (as they someday may be responsible for giving that care and protection).
It’s also in the home where they can first see honor for others modeled. They can see how their father honors their mother (and vice versa), and how they in turn honor their own parents. Later in life they can turn to their parents for advice or example when it comes to the hierarchy of interpersonal relationships. A child can also see (or hear) their parents serving their bosses or customers honorably; and likewise, can see if they would rather cheat and backstab them.
The point I see is this – the seed of honoring others starts first in the home with honoring one’s parents, so the lesson of life through the fifth commandment really can be more than that. We would do well to learn from this and other passages in the Bible that teach us how to treat others, and if starting in the home gets us there – as it should in a God-ordered family – then we must dig deeper to follow its lead.