Won’t you be my neighbor? You already are…

So, I guess there’s been an election, and I see the results and they’re surprising. Not because anyone’s winning or losing, but because if I’m to believe anything I’ve read lately, one side is nothing but angels while the other is Satan himself. It’s almost comical, especially when you see that, across the board, the country is pretty much evenly split, and if you really take a closer look, you’ll probably figure out that we’re all not that different. What we really have to remember here is that the media in general (social and news) needs us to think that we are. Their idea of a successful business model is, by design, confrontational. It intentionally highlights differences that really aren’t that different and then stands back to watch the carnage. It gets the views. It makes the money.  

So, I stay away from it all as much as I can. I know how much it twists things. So badly that I’ve had people who should know better think that I voted for Donald Trump, even when I myself thought I was pretty clear that I wouldn’t vote for him if he was the only candidate on the ballot and someone had a gun to my head (like how it’s done in north Korea, or China – which, by the way, media would have us believe is exactly where our democracy is going right now (it isn’t)). 

People might think that since my views tend to the right, I’m a climate change denier, when, in fact, I believe in climate change. I only really disagree (like a lot of people do if you take time to listen) on what I see as outrageous, meaningless, and shallow solutions (like not accounting for the damage done by the entire process of making electric car batteries, how we actually “fuel” those cars, or an unrealistic aversion (an actual phobia, not a fake one) to nuclear power). People might also be surprised that I’m pro-immigrant – It’s just that I like to think I understand the danger of people coming into the country unaccounted for. I certainly don’t believe that every example of an illegal immigrant committing a crime is the norm (something they seem to believe at a certain network that trumpets it in the headlines every time it happens) – not by a long shot. And I’m a firm believer that immigrants continue to make important, if not crucial contributions to the nation – as they always have. 

And I count myself blessed to know plenty of people who tend to be more on the left – and not one of them has horns. I looked. They’re among the best people I know, to tell you the truth, and there’s really no reason to think otherwise. 

Maybe all of this is why I don’t really post or respond to too many things on social media anymore. I understand completely the possibility – no, the probability — that someone’s going to take something I say and make a thing out of it. So why bother? I’m not into being regularly misunderstood. I’m also not a fan of being thought something I’m not. So why put myself out there? I do enough of that here on this blog, where I have a lot more control and where I can put a lot more of myself and my thoughts into the work. Here I know if you’re going to make an effort to read any of my stuff, you’ll probably go all the way in trying to really understand what I’m saying and not get too far afield (or bent out of shape) when you react (and if you do react, we can talk things out as friends). Honestly, it’s been nice, being able to go for it here and leave social media for the liking of baby pics and friends’ accomplishments. I can curate my life the way I want. I can control what I see and the things to which I react. Restraint, you know. Everyone should give it a try sometime. Or all of the time.  

I was reminded of this when I saw a post of a YouTube cyclist I’ve followed for a few years now. Someone commented on a recent video. Something along the lines of, “I liked you better when you just posted about cycling and not all of this family and politics and propaganda stuff.” But you know what? Nobody put a gun to this guy’s head, despite his apparent thinking that someone had. Personally, I’m not a fan of some of the stuff the guy posts either, but you know what I do? I skip right over it. I won’t waste my time if I’m not interested, and I certainly don’t bother to write a comment to the guy complaining. Why would I? I’m not the boss of him. I’m the boss of me, and I’m smart enough to know I don’t have to watch it if I don’t want to. 

I do that with a lot of stuff now, and I think most of the people who read what I write do that too to some extent. But if you’re one of those who likes to think the worst of your neighbors, let me at least try to give you some advice. Think hard. If everyone you know is a jerk, the common denominator isn’t them, it’s you. But I don’t think that’s the case. I think the average person is just as likely to say please and thank you and hold the door as you are. Unless you don’t. Then maybe you really are the problem…