Tumbling Downhill

Let’s just say it: one of the biggest weaknesses in email communication is that there is no immediate feedback.  You don’t get to look the person in the face and see that they got your communication, that they understood what you said, or whether or not they even heard (read) what it was.  It’s absolutely frustrating at times. Studies have floated around telling us that a large percentage of our communication is nonverbal. While we can’t exactly trust the numbers (ironically, the author of one such study had to clarify because too many people misinterpreted what he wrote), it’s a given that body language, tone of voice, emphasis, and facial expressions make a huge difference. Nothing beats face-to-face communication. 

So, what then, social media? I remember joking with a friend on social media some years ago and being misunderstood by an onlooker. It was a lesson for sure, and is probably one of the things that has me swearing off responding to people’s posts at all. Sure, it’s a bit ironic that I communicate my thoughts mostly through this blog – but at least here I have people who are kind and committed to at least trying to understand me, and we all know well enough to work things out reasonably if there are any disagreements. But most of you readers know it’s never going to come to blows with me. I still remember some Facebook exchanges years back, when, after not getting anywhere, one of my dear sisters said “knock it off, Bob.” I didn’t argue. I immediately deleted the post and never mentioned it again. More often than not, if one of my brothers or sisters says “knock it off,” I’m gonna listen, no questions asked. Sadly, most people don’t have that trust, confidence, or just plain sense to shut it down without wedging in the last, snooty word. 

I’m old enough to remember what life was like before the rise of computers (and I really intend to say that in the most “Terminatoresque” way I can). I sometimes ponder those days. And when they were coming to a close, I remember being told about how we were going to increase our effectiveness, and even go paperless(!). Seriously. Of course, we’ve learned that that was certainly never going to happen. It seems that the ability to email simply ramped up the volume. Half of the emails I get these days aren’t even work-related. It’s always some party, some picnic, some fund-raiser, some seminar. It leaves me wondering if my work is even being seen anymore. I’m left guessing. “Did they read it?” “Did they forward that document for signature?” “Are they even at work today?” Who knows? 

And so, the frustration. The problem with it all. We’ve lost something, and I wonder if we can ever get it back. I say, “No.” The most I can hope for is that people at least get into the habit of responding. Of at least telling the people from whom they receive requests that “I’ve got it. I’m working on it.” Of just plain doing it before it’s forgotten in the vast bucket of all of the other emails received. 

A dear friend told me long ago, “I never handle a piece of paper twice.” Of course, he meant that when he received something, he’d take some kind of action that would move the process along quickly. I said that to someone the other day and they half-jokingly said, “I don’t know what that means.” Half joking. In all honesty, he didn’t know enough to know how true his words sounded to me.

I’ve had people complement my work-style. They seem surprised that I respond so quickly – that I finish tasks in such short order. I always tell them, “That’s by necessity.  I know if I don’t do something right away, it might be forgotten and never done.” I know this about myself. Unfortunately, not many other people know the same about themselves. I can only hope they learn someday, but by then, who knows what the next group will think of the standard…