There was a girl I knew in high school, and I thought so much of her (although I’m sure she never knew). To me, she seemed the embodiment of success. She was one of the smartest in the class. She was filled with self-confidence. She was kind-hearted and generous. And yeah, she was kind of pretty too. Actually, very pretty. But (and in keeping with how cool I thought she was) I never got the feeling that she was stuck up about it either.
We graduated a bit over forty years ago now, and here I am – although still holding some fond memories of those days – almost completely separated from that life. And not just by time. I’m about as far away as one can get from it, living on another continent with a whole ocean in between; and I only really stay in touch with one person from that time and place.
Still, although I don’t post on Facebook anymore (beyond advertising this blog), I’ve got the account. On occasion, I like to look through the feed to see if there’s anything interesting. And at times, there is.
Now, let me go back a bit to remind you of my philosophy on Facebook. I think it’s mostly garbage. When I look at my feed now, I have to wade through a raft of “suggestions” and advertisements to be able to see anything of substance. And even my “friends” work against me when Facebook seems to think I want to see the things on which they are commenting too.
That’s the problem. I don’t want to see those things. Those are the things that are mainly irrelevant to me. Those are the things that lead to arguments or the formations of opinions that, in the scheme of things, don’t matter. I only see it, in most cases, as a way for poison to seep in.
Here’s what I want to see: I want to see someone celebrating something. I want to see someone being thoughtful. I want to use Facebook as a little window through which I can see the lives of the people I love. But more than that, I want to see real lives. Lives in which we can talk to each other and laugh together and share a good moment or two. And I want to see someone talking to me, not the world. I don’t want to sit off to the side of an argument waiting to happen. That’s just too uncomfortable.
So, I’ve “friended” this beautiful, smart woman on Facebook, and I’ve caught a couple of those snippets of her life lately, and they’ve made me happy. She is, from what I can see, successful. Married her high school sweetheart. Raised a family. Active in the church. I’m not so foolish as to think it’s all been roses and sunshine, but I can see she’s doing well.
I see pictures of her from when we were young, and it really hits me that so much time has passed (although she’s still quite beautiful). That pretty, kind, smart young girl has had an entire lifetime since then; but because I neither saw, nor heard a thing of her in the intervening decades, it feels like I’m stepping out of a coma. It’s like all of those years in between didn’t even happen, and here we are in high school again. And I want to say, “Hey, you’re gonna be great.”
And if I ever got the chance, I’d love to just sit down and talk to her and see how she’s doing all these years later. And it’s odd, because, like I said, I never really let on to her what I thought in high school. We were friendly with each other, but we weren’t the deepest of friends. And yet, for some reason, she sticks out to me as one of the people I liked so much as a person, and I’d love to tell her that. And that I’m happy for her. Maybe even give her a hug.
I think that would be yet another moment to remember…
