I wrote a poem many years ago titled “I Only Know Me.” The concept was this (and it goes the same for everyone on the planet): when it comes down to it, we can only see the world through our own experiences. We only really know ourselves, but only assume everything of others. We assume they experience things similarly to the way we do. We assume they’re truthful. We assume they think like us, even when they don’t think like us (maybe only that they come to their conclusions the same way that we do).
But we don’t really know, do we? We don’t know if someone is being completely honest, even when they say they’re being completely honest. So how can we really know them?
And…well, Facebook. Right? Perhaps the most dishonest interface we can ever have with anyone. Life is cut-and-dried peachy on Facebook. We’re all filled with either humor or vitriol. We’re eating incredible food, or hanging out on incredible beaches. We’re right. You’re wrong. Look at these pictures of my wonderful time.
But it isn’t real.
I was watching game 5 of the Dodgers/Braves series and this came to mind. As they showed a shot of the crowd, a woman caught my eye, and I thought “she must be having a good time.” She certainly looked it. But maybe she went through a rough patch just recently. Maybe a friend died last month, or maybe she lost her job last year. Or maybe she’s supposed to be at work and her boss just saw her…
Could be, though, that she’s really nailin’ it right now and everything’s great. But you all know this won’t be the case all the time. She’s been through something, and something’s definitely coming.
I don’t mean to be entirely gloomy here. I mean, I think we all pretty much understand that human lives are generally similar in most like situations. We’re more than likely sitting somewhere near the middle of a huge bell curve, where we’re all living about the same; but of course, there are some who are struggling more, and others who are doing better than average. We can see this best within the context of our own circles and societies – that is, someone we Americans might think is living a poor life may not themselves feel that way, never having lived in a great prosperity with which to compare their lives. They might be sitting smack in the middle of our bell curve on far less than we would consider passable. But it’s all the same.
But what does any of this mean?
Maybe I’m just trying to remind us all that everyone is struggling in one way or another. At one time or another. Life is certainly not what you see in others (especially on line). But if you recognize your own struggles are probably pretty close to what just about everyone else has gone or is going through, maybe you’ll get a better perspective on both them and you.
A funny piece of irony here though. Maybe I’m wrong about this. I mean, after all, I just said there’s no way I could know. After all, I only know me.