The emotions are still a bit too raw. I find myself trying to stay busy – I stayed up most of the night watching drivel on Netflix just to keep my mind off of 삐삐’s death. I slept fitfully.
Then when I awoke, it was more of the same. Today was the day I was going to finish reading the Bible through by reading Revelation. I did, but listlessly. I broke down in the middle as I prayed, “God, this is so silly to ask for. Please have mercy.” Jesus didn’t die for birds, and yet I was reminded of the passage in the Bible where he says, “Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten before God.”
I know this passage in context isn’t about birds, it’s about our fears and worries of the world. It’s about how important we are to God – so much more than the sparrows, each one of which he knows the smallest detail. But I’ll take it. God knew 삐삐. And he knows Micha and me. He knows we’re heartbroken at the loss of our little bird. She was supposed to be a wild bird; but she was so sweet and made us so happy.
Each day should get easier, and someday we may only remember the best. I know there are things so much more important. But it matters when you lose something you love.