Experiences

I was watching a show on National Geographic Channel yesterday – Get Lost in Korea I think it was called – and it made me wonder what I’ve been missing.  No, not necessarily in Korea (although the host went to some pretty interesting places that I’d like to visit someday). It had me thinking what I may have been missing by always taking the easy way.  Always so painfully shy about doing things. Always bad in crowds.  It has me wondering if I’ve taken a wrong turn somewhere where I miss out on some really interesting things because my brain is always saying, “No, Bob. Better not.” And who knows why not?

Maybe you’ve heard the saying “dance like no one’s watching.” I don’t dance. I’m awful at it. As a matter of fact, one of the most embarrassing experiences I ever thought I’d had was when the Air Force’s travelling entertainment troupe (Tops in Blue – some of you know them) came to Osan maybe 20 years ago or so. I made the mistake of sitting on the end of a row in the theater and they did a number where some of the performers came out into the crowd and grabbed people, making them stand up and dance. Things like this never happen to me, but this night it did. How humiliating. But you know what? I can’t help but think back now and just laugh about it.

And I’m the only person on the planet – well, outside of my friend Jay – who remembers that. And that’s the thing.  I think we miss out on so much because of these unfounded fears. I think it’s been helpful more recently in life when I’ve said to myself, “who cares?”  Yeah. Who’s gonna care about it…or even remember whatever happened just a few short weeks down the road (barring a viral YouTube video of course)?

I think I’ve kind of cured myself a little as I ride in the country.  I might be singing along to something in my earpiece when I pass someone walking down the road.  While my first thought is to dial it back or shut up completely, there are those occasions where I think to myself, “that old woman will never see me again. What can a little singing do?” There were times where I was brave enough to keep on singing and look right at them in defiance as I passed.

I was thinking about this today as I was walking the dog. Where have I missed out? But then I thought of something else.  A friend was asking me about someone we know – a cantankerous man who just can’t seem to understand that things are different than his particular “good old days.” There are new days being made for others. It made me think that in some things I really haven’t missed out.  Because I really love this friend. She’s got so much life and interesting stuff about her.

And not just her – there are so many others I’ve come to know over the years.  And they’re all pretty much young enough to be my kids (and maybe it’s because I miss my kids?). They belong to a generation that’s leaving me in the dust. And the generation behind them even more so. I’m still quite shy about meeting people, but when I get to know them I find so much more in the experience. They’re all like an adventure if I take the time with them, and I feel like my life is enriched just in that. Meanwhile, others stay bitter. And they lose something.

So am I really missing out?