A recent conversation with my brother gave me the idea: I’ve correctly ranked the Connery and Moore Bond movies (despite what my brother said), now maybe I can go 3 for 3 by correctly ranking the Bond title sequence themes.
Having just finished a post on historical context, I know it’ll be tricky. I have indeed been alive in all 6 (7?) of the decades in which Bond was put to film, and I’m familiar with the musical styles of each decade, but I’m far from being an expert. Then again, I do know what’s good, so you can trust me.
Ground rules? Well…I did try to imagine actually seeing the sequences in the theater with the movie. In some cases, the interwebs let me see the opening sequence and a bit of the after-sequence. I remembered most of the movies, but I must say that a few Daltons and Brosnans were just plain forgettable. One sequence, which I know I saw in the theater, just didn’t ring a bell. Was it the worst? Not quite. But if it was so completely forgettable that I couldn’t call it a Bond song if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I can assure you it sucked.
In any case, I did my best. Then again, I never said I was gonna be objective…
So here they are. These will read like this: My ranking; the number in the series (I didn’t count Niven’s Casino Royale or Connery’s second Thunderball (Never Say Never Again) so there are only 25 total – to include the as of yet unreleased No Time to Die); the name of the movie; the year; the singer; the name of the song if it’s different than the movie; and my comments:
25. 14, A View to a Kill, 1985, Duran-Duran: Duran-Duran. Hng. When they pick a questionable one-hit-wonder to do a Bond theme song there’s just nothing more you can say. The whole song and sequence was a techno-black-light pile of awful. I’ll have nightmares if I think about it much more than to write this.
24. 15, The Living Daylights, 1987, A-ha: A-ha? Are you kidding me? Disjointed and awful, but not as bad as “A View to a Kill,” so I guess it has that going for it. This is the song I don’t remember. I don’t remember the movie either, although I know I saw it.
23. 20, Die Another Day, 2002, Madonna: Ugh. Did Madonna know that the ‘80s had been over for more than 12 years? What was she thinking? What were we thinking?
22. 17, Goldeneye, 1995, Tina Turner: I don’t quite know what to think of this. Not enough umph in the music and I don’t think Tina is the best voice for this (I make a comparison later). It was written by Bono and Edge, but they’re no Marvin Hamlisches…
21. 24, Spectre, 2015, Sam Smith, “Writing’s on the Wall”: “But with you I’m feeling something that makes me want to stay.” Ugh. Why would I want a Sam Smith ballad opening a Bond movie? There is no Bond in this at all. Not even a hint. Maybe he was shooting for the pop charts and forgot it was for a movie.
20. 13, Octopussy, 1983, Rita Coolidge, “All-Time High”: Hey, they discovered laser-pointers…and naked girls on trampolines (silhouetted of course). Meh. What kind of song would you expect out of a title like that? Cheesy much?
19. 19, The World is not Enough, 1999, Garbage: I sure hope the band name didn’t influence my thoughts. I really just got a “meh” feeling from it.
18. 22, Quantum of Solace, 2008, Jack White and Alicia Keys, “Another Way to Die”: The more I listened, the less I liked it. At first I was, “this is OK,” but it became more and more disjointed and I don’t think their voices matched well. By the end I realized it was just noise.
17. 11, Moonraker, 1979, Shirley Bassey: It was kind of out there – and maybe that’s fitting for a Bond movie in which part of it was set in outer space. Shirley Bassey helped another song out, and nailed another (yes, she’s on this list three times!), but couldn’t save this one.
16. 18, Tomorrow Never Dies, 1997 Sheryl Crow: Not awful. It’s got a bit of a Bondish vibe, but I’m just not feeling it.
15. 9, The Man with the Golden Gun, 1974, Lulu: This gets back a bit more to the edgier spy music from which we’d drifted with “Live and Let Die,” but it’s still influenced by rock, and that sends it in the wrong direction. The song did have more to do with the movie’s title character than all of the others. I like the movie generally, and Christopher Lee was a great Bond villain. But the song was poor.
These next three are the Bond instrumentals, so I have no comments other than to say that the first two really set the Bond theme vibe. I’m also using these to separate the abysmal, awful, and poor from the passable, good and great.
14. 6, On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, 1969.
13. 2, From Russia with Love, 1963.
12. 1, Dr. No, 1962: (if any other songs didn’t at least make a nod to this one, they suffered).
11. 12, For Your Eyes Only, 1981, Sheena Easton: I knew we had reached the ‘80s when I listened to this song, but it wasn’t altogether bad. Sweet, but not so saccharine that it absolutely didn’t belong. They actually show Easton singing for part of it, and that wasn’t entirely helpful. Just scraped past the instrumental-line.
10. 8, Live and Let Die, 1973, Paul McCartney and Wings: You can tell it’s Sir Paul. He hadn’t been out of the Beatles long enough to do this. It gets a little “hip,” and it gets a little wild. The one thing that saved it for me was when I really listened to it when I re-watched the movies for my Moore rankings and got the main lyric. I think this is the first outright rock-and-roll-influenced theme.
9. 16, Licence to Kill, 1989, Gladys Knight: A good Goldfingeresque start with some guts. A decent Gladys Knight vibe, but it still has a bit of ‘80s Chicago in it (which isn’t what you want in a Bond theme). And really, “Got a licence to kill and you know I’m going straight for your heart. Got a Licence to kill anyone who tries to tear us apart, oooo honey” has no business being a Bond theme lyric. It is a Chicago lyric though. Gladys saves this song.
8. 7, Diamonds are Forever, 1971, Shirley Bassey: Well sung. Not anything that knocks it out of the park, but the Bond film franchise is not yet 10 years old, still has Connery, and it’s Shirley Bassey (although like I said, there’s no way she could save “Moonraker”).
7. 25, No Time to Die, 2020, Billie Eilish: Imagine being 19 (along with a 22-year-old brother) and being tagged to write and perform a Bond song. You can either screw it up or actually do it well. Eilish does it pretty well, incorporating the Bond vibe. Problem is, if they don’t get this movie out soon though, Billie is gonna be out of style. But I don’t think we’ll forget why she was picked for the song in the first place.
6. 10, The Spy Who Loved Me, 1977, Carly Simon, “Nobody Does it Better”: Yeah, we’re getting into Roger Moore territory, but Marvin Hamlisch wrote it and we know he brings the quality. And at least they mention the title of the movie in the song.
5. 23, Skyfall, 2012, Adele: Back to the sultry theme of Bond songs set earlier by Bassey. Unlike Tina Turner (much further up this list), Adele was the right voice for this. The whole song brought a mystery to it.
4. 21, Casino Royale, 2006, Chris Cornell, “You Know my Name”: In addition to being the Bond movie that brought Bond out of the utterly forgettable cartoon era started by Moore, this is a gritty arrangement and well-done sequence overall. Cornell brings back the horns and an undercurrent that says “Bond is back.” And it certainly doesn’t hurt that Daniel Craig has stepped into the roll. Casino Royale was a franchise reboot that really worked.
3. 3, Goldfinger, 1964, Shirley Bassey: What can I say? Bassey is a dame. Literally. This is very close to number two. Bassey brings a power like Jones (who’s a “Sir”), and the song reflects the title character well. The only thing that brought it in under Thunderball was that I felt the lyrics were a bit weaker.
2. 4, Thunderball, 1965, Tom Jones: Jones brings the power, and so does the song. They do well to incorporate the Bond theme that was established earlier with Dr. No, and they work the song well.
1. 5, You Only Live Twice, 1967, Nancy Sinatra: I love how it eases into the sequence from the intro. This is a classic and really hits it as a Bond theme. Some may think it tame, but it just fits, even if it was attached to the worst Connery film.
I would be glad to know your thoughts in the comments. Drop me a line with your favorites…and least favorites if you care to remember them.